I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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