Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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