after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You need a sexual gate keeper
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
