I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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