your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
