Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
