i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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