Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
