..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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