also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
