If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
oh god the rape fog is back!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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