I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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