You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
