I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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