Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
