i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
