Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
vagina is talking i cant
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
