Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
