I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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