I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
