Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize