we made out on top of his cat.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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