Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
