im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
