dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
