hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just invented taco cereal.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
