We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
