Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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