your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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