just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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