Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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