Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
