I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
this just has baby written all over it
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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