It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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