I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
