We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
