I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
