My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
