just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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