I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
