i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
