If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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