I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
