nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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