we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
