She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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