This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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