I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
