i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
