Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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