We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
