It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
