You really coming over, don't trick.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
