I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
