Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
