there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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