drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize