people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
