plz talk dirty to me
Life is so much better after having sex.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
