everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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