if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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