This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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