sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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