Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
