i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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