Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
