And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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