I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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