I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize