I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
