Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
