So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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