need another drink. this is the easiest way
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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