Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
