Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize