I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
