Fine. I'll sleep in my office
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
