You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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